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5 June 2009updated 05 Oct 2023 8:03am

Will Sir Alan fire Gordon?

Gordon Brown's woes, the triumph of Hartlepool's Monkey and Sir Alan's cabinet appointment in our we

By Paul Evans

Alea iacta est

“In seasons of tumult and discord bad men have the most power; mental and moral excellence require peace and quietness.” – Tacitus

Following the exit of the Home Secretary, the departure of Hazel Blears as minister responsible for local government, on the eve of the local elections seemed to indicate that the Rubicon had been crossed – Brown’s removal from office was a matter of “when”, not “if”.

At Prime Minister’s Questions the government frontbench stared at the Tories, stared at the ground, stared anywhere other than at each other. Balls was flushed and sweaty. Darling looked like an embarrassed schoolboy. Conor Ryan thought that Brown had put in solid performance against a “relatively lacklustre David Cameron,” though Iain Dale thought that he had “squirmed like a wriggling eel”.

As the polls closed on Thursday, James Purnell (a minister described by Cranmer as a “talented, personable, charismatic and eloquent Blairite”) dropped a bombshell by not only resigning, but saying what he meant. While the general consensus was that he had opened the floodgates, Justin McKeating was less than bothered. Casting Purnell as a reactionary who won’t be missed, he quipped: “Even a breathless John Humphrys on the Today programme on Radio 4 is struggling to make this sound seismic.”

A blow to Brown’s hopes of hanging on had already come from LabourList, where new editor Alex Smith told the prime minister to go, quoting his own words back at him and asking that he “summon his better angels”.

As weary activists awoke on Friday, it emerged that John Hutton was leaving as defence secretary, citing personal reasons. Jon Snow blogged that Hutton is “a nice man who reached the summit of his ambition in becoming defence secretary,” and who had departed without firing a direct shot at Brown.

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While we won’t know the outcome of the European elections until Sunday, Lib Dem victory in Bristol was announced on Friday morning and indications were, as expected, that Labour was taking a beating, particularly across the South of England. Kudos must go to Iain Dale and Hopi Sen for providing rolling online radio coverage of the local results as they arose throughout Friday.

Will Brown be leading our country this time next week? Did Nero enjoy the lyre?

What have we learned this week?

H’Angus the Monkey has won a third term as Mayor of Hartlepool. Stuart Drummond may have originally been elected as an act of collective civic levity, but has endured and prospered in office. Lord Toby Harris noted:

“Certainly, his re-election means that his original election can no longer be used as an argument that directly-elected Mayoral systems will automatically result in electors voting frivolously.”

Congratulations H’Angus.

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Frankly, Mr. Shankly, this position I’ve held/ It pays my way, and it corrodes my soul”. This goes out to all former cabinet ministers, the ultimate resignation song: Frankly, Mr Shankly.

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“Maybe it’s all part of a cunning plan that will end with the irascible entrepreneur pointing the finger at the PM and uttering the infamous words “you’re fired”!”

Glasgow SNP activist Indygal on the latest development in post-parody politics, the appointment of Sir Alan Sugar to a peerage and the post of ‘enterprise tsar”.

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