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20 May 2020updated 21 May 2020 9:55am

Commons Confidential: Putting the Marx into marking

Your weekly dose of gossip from around Westminster. 

By Kevin Maguire

Bruised Boris Johnson waffling in No 10 about education, infrastructure and technology as three pillars in Britain’s future is, muttered my snout, an increasingly frantic attempt by the PM’s little helpers to paint their sugar daddy as a chap of action and thus shield him from coronavirus disasters. With UK-made ventilators reported to be running out of parts and testing chiefs complaining that the first they heard about Matt Hancock’s 100,000 target was on TV, Johnson’s regime continues to disintegrate.

Fresh derision was triggered by suggestions that the government intended the second word in that much-ridiculed “Stay Alert” ­slogan to be an acronym. Labour culture vulture Jo Stevens accused a windmilling premier of secretly thinking “All Lazy Employees Return Tomorrow” whenever he mutters an “Alert” so confusing the only shock is that Johnson hasn’t translated it into Greek. Yet. 

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