“Welcome to motherhood: a five-letter word spelled ‘G-U-I-L-T’.” It wasn’t what I’d expected my mother to say to me a few weeks after giving birth. But more than eight years later, I know how right she was. I feel guilty juggling work and motherhood, sometimes feeling like I’m not succeeding at either. Others often unintentionally reinforce this.
In her new book, Maternity Service, so named because those postnatal months are anything but “leave”, the BBC presenter Emma Barnett tackles this. Do not, she implores, tell new mothers to “make the most of every second”. This is, Barnett writes, “the most maddening and unhelpful piece of advice” because it is not true: it isn’t possible to enjoy every second of anything, let alone while also experiencing sleep deprivation, a loss of selfhood, overwhelming responsibility and the most intense love you’ve ever felt.
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