Struggling to defend the indefensible is what exasperated cabinet comrades believe triggered Lucy Powell’s “crazy” claim that the winter fuel allowance cut helped Labour avoid a Liz Truss-style economic crash. Powell, leader of the House of Commons and Lord President of the Council, irritated colleagues by flaunting her power as head of a star chamber and interrogating ministers on proposed legislation. One victim moaned he was made to feel like the little boy in blue, hands behind his back, grilled about when did he last see his father in the William Frederick Yeames’ English Civil War painting. This Labour feud is more family than royalists vs roundheads.
Chums of bet-hedging Boris Johnson whisper that the vanquished liar is waiting until Tory MPs cull the wannabe leader choice to just two before deciding who to champion in his £1m a year Daily Mail column. The endorsement none want is Liz Truss’s, the lettuce loser is considered a kiss of death. Kemi Badenoch and Robert Jenrick camps reached out to loopy Liz, whispered a snout, pleading for her not to jeopardise their hopes by voicing support.
The spectre of Nigel Farage crops up whenever two or more of 121 haunted Conservative survivors meet. How to handle Reform UK is a challenge as daunting for His Majesty’s reduced official opposition as unseating Labour. One appeaser’s head was bitten off by the former Brexit secretary David Davis for asserting the right-wing rivals should merge. “After arsonists burn down the golf clubhouse,” snarled Davis, “you don’t invite them to become members.” He favours driving them into the long grass.
Keir Starmer’s spokesman stonewalled questions about the family’s new Siberian kitten, JoJo, rivalling Larry, and security issues over cutting a cat flap into a bomb-proof door. Then the PM went on BBC 5Live and invaded his own family’s privacy by telling all. “We must stop him saying things like that,” groaned a frustrated aide. Government comms is a game of cat and mouse.
Standing for chair of the Environmental Audit Committee, Barry Gardiner’s expensively produced “natural choice” flyers that he placed on Portcullis House tables were instantly confiscated by a trailing official. At least they went straight into the recycling bin.
That gloomy Starmer No 10 rose garden speech has disheartened newly elected MPs returning from summer holidays. One Starmtrooper grumbled the boss overdid the doom. The downcast vibe wasn’t so much Oasis’s “Don’t Look Back in Anger”, he warbled, but that of the Smiths’ “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now”.
[See also: Labour’s battle for Britain]
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