There are few behaviours considered more unflattering than actively seeking pity. For many, the thought of others feeling sorry for us is patronising or demeaning. Who wants to receive sympathy by looking pathetic? But on social media, such abjection is no longer seen as undesirable: pity is a lucrative route to engagement and attention. It’s now become common for people to share sob stories – particularly ones about professional failure – in an apparent bid to gain support (and promotion and custom) from total strangers.
In the last few months, there have been countless examples. A writer shares a photo of an empty reading, and world-famous authors such as Neil Gaiman and Margaret Atwood reply with messages of support, while hundreds of others buy the author’s book. A young woman posts to TikTok that her mother had failed to sell any of her home-made Christmas decorations at a local market, resulting in a rush of online orders.
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