As the Royal Wedding slouches into being, Britain is drowning under a wave of retro kitsch. The boho wankers of London have decided that liking the monarchy is vintage chic, a bit like owning a Gameboy from 1991, and have emblazoned club hoardings with the slogan ‘don’t hate on Kate’ superimposed over the Union Jack.
On the glorious day itself, a street party will be held in Shoreditch, in the heart of the capital’s trendy art district, to celebrate all things British and bygone — like wartime “victory rolls”, the lindy hop and the relevance of the house of Windsor. This bric-a-brac of old-fashioned Englishness does not include a polio float or imprisonment for homosexuals, but there will be a Chas-and-Dave tribute band.
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