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23 October 2024

This England: Cleaned the place out

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the New Statesman since 1934.

By New Statesman

A woman discovered her house had been broken into by a burglar who hung out her washing, put her shopping away and cooked a meal on her stove. The court also heard the bird feeders had been refilled and plant pots had been moved, toothbrush heads had been replaced, and the floor had been cleaned with a mop and bucket left out. Damian Wojnilowicz, 36, was jailed for 22 months at Cardiff Crown Court for carrying out the unusual burglary in Monmouthshire.
BBC Wales (Steve Morley)

Slightly over-blown

The BBC has apologised for its weather app and website incorrectly forecasting “hurricane-force winds” to hit the UK as it works to fix data issues. Graphics showed Scarborough was braced for winds of over 15,000 mph on 10 October, while Northallerton would have had gales of 15,531 mph. Things were slightly calmer in Leeds where winds were predicted to reach a milder 12,682 mph. Meanwhile, Nottingham was forecast to see unseasonably balmy overnight temperatures of 404°C.
Yorkshire Post (Michael Meadowcroft)

(Almost) naked and afraid

A wanted man was found hiding inside a sofa wearing just his underwear. Police released body-cam video of his discovery in the base of the settee at a house in Potton, Bedfordshire. “We’ve seen some things in our time but this is a first,” a police spokesman said.
Metro (Daragh Brady)

[See also: Thought Experiment 4: Becoming a vampire]

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This article appears in the 23 Oct 2024 issue of the New Statesman, The crisis candidate