Two squirrels caused “pandemonium” on a Great Western Rail train after attacking passengers and refusing to leave. The pair of mischievous rodents reportedly tried to hitch a ride on Monday’s 8.54am GWR service from Reading to Gatwick and then began attacking some of the rush-hour commuters, finally forcing a cancellation of the train service.
Swindon Gazette (John Dearing)
Chip, chip, hurray!
Rufus the hawk, who typically patrols Wimbledon to scare away pigeons for the All England Club, has a new job on “chipwatch” at the Southampton International Boat Show, where he will protect visitors’ snacks from seabirds. The new “head of seagull security” will patrol a “safe chip zone” so that those attending Britain’s biggest festival of boating can relax. Research suggests that Southampton has one of the highest rates of chip theft in the UK, with 44 per cent saying they have been a victim.
Telegraph (Amanda Welles)
Pooh cornered
Residents of Dorchester-on-Thames left baffled after they received letters claiming their area could soon be rebranded with a Winnie-the-Pooh theme, turning the village into “the UK’s answer to Disneyland”. They were delivered in handwritten envelopes by a mystery campaigner, “Johnny Nutter”, who warned a “secret night-time guerrilla rebranding” of the area to “Pooh Village” would soon take place.
Oxford Mail (Richard Fearn)
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This article appears in the 25 Sep 2024 issue of the New Statesman, All-out war