This England: The best a cat can get

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the NS since 1934.

By New Statesman

A “phantom cat shaver” is on the loose, fear owners.

Victoria Griffiths, 29, of Chatham, Kent, now keeps her tabby, George, ten, indoors after he returned home with a large bald patch.

“I was so angry some nasty human decided to shave my cat,” she said. Another cat in the town had its hind legs shaved.
Metro
(Amanda Welles)

McTasteless

McDonald’s has been blasted for its “tasteless” advertisement opposite a crematorium.

The sign promotes the chain’s chicken burger and reads “McCrispy”. But it is right opposite Penmount Crematorium in Cornwall. McDonald’s has said it will remove the advert.
Daily Express
(Steve Morley)

An eggs-travagant theft

A man who stole 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs has been convicted in court.

Joby Pool was surrounded by a mountain of the foil-wrapped chocolate when police caught up with him. Recognising he was foiled too, he surrendered to officers with his hands up.

Pool, 32, used a stolen lorry with false plates to snatch a trailer containing the eggs from an industrial unit in Telford.

West Mercia Police said its officer – hunting someone “presumably purporting to be the Easter bunny” – had “saved Easter”.
BBC West Midlands
(Christopher Rossi)