Ed says: “I’m the Prime Minister! No, I am. Look, really, really I am. I really am the Prime Minister. David gave me a card that says it and everything. Look, it says Prime Minister. In big letters. Next to the bit where it says Tough Enough. Oh, come on. It’s real… Let me into Number 10, please! Nooo, it’s not a fake ID. David said it was real! That’s my face, look. My face. See. No, not the Wrong Trousers. Yes! No. No one’s been hitting me. My nose has changed a bit, yes. Not to make me look tough, it was an operation for, um, apnoea. You know, to stop snoring. Yes, just like the electorate, harhar. Look, I had a deviated septum! No, I never took any Colombian marching powder whatever that is, but I will admit to being partial to Sherbet dib-dabs. Um… Justine buys them. I guess we spend £70 or £80 on them a week, maybe more… Look, officer, the real issue is are you going to let me into Number 10 or… Oh. Well, I’ll wait out here then.”
The Eds must have been smug-ugly about that manifesto front page. Fiscal responsibility for all! Fiscal responsibility pouring from the coffers, like a golden rain of prudence! Their manifesto very carefully sets out all the things Labour promises they won’t do, so they can be big, responsible and loathable like the Tories. But it doesn’t say what they’d do in the likely eventuality that the economy hits the rails again, the same thing that the IMF criticised the Tories for.
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