Should shoot-from-the-lip Kemi Badenoch wear the tarnished Conservative crown after the weekend – she’s heavily tipped to win a Tory play-off against bland Robert “Generic” Jenrick – she may need to woo dispirited former ministers to fill her shadow team in a greatly shrunken parliamentary party. One such veteran groaned that the prospect of opposition hard grind for “six Tommy Robinsons” – calculating the duration based on the jailed far-right thug’s recent sentence of nine months’ porridge – was unappealing after government cars and red boxes. Another confided he’s considering a break to avoid becoming Badenoch’s cleaner, appearing in the media after gaffes to explain: “What she meant to say was…”
Starmer hit man Morgan McSweeney must be furious given left-wingers were blocked, selections twisted and Starmtroopers parachuted into safe seats for the election. The Socialist Campaign Group has signed up two new MPs, with another couple contemplating membership. Including the seven suspended for voting to axe the two-child benefit cap, that’s 30 confirmed members, plus Unite former general secretary Tony Woodley and NEU teachers’ ex-head Christine Blower among five peers. The faction isn’t publicly identifying the fresh blood to protect them, but I suspect the whips already know exactly who they are.
Labour MP Mike Amesbury is under pressure to quit after connecting with a voter by apparently punching him to the ground. The whip was suspended and officials are already preparing for a potential by-election in Runcorn and Helsby, calculating an early contest would stymie a Reform bandwagon after Nigel Farage’s lot finished second – if 14,696 votes behind Labour. Amesbury, universally described as gentle and likeable, worked during his salad days with Angela Rayner. Talk is the Deputy PM and leader will be tasked with persuading him to go quietly and swiftly.
Few if any appeals to back assisted dying will be as emotionally powerful as a call to MPs from John Monks, Labour peer and former TUC general secretary. His son, Daniel, 49, starved himself to death earlier this year after suffering for years with multiple sclerosis and Crohn’s disease. Daniel’s was a brutal death, despite hospice care. It’s a conscience vote that will traumatise MPs on both sides.
Sunderland Football Club is at the end of Keir Hardie Way and the Wearmouth Miners’ Banner hangs in the Stadium of Light – so supporters were miffed that Luton Town picked the local Conservative club as the away fans’ designated pub for a recent match. Two South Tyneside Labour councillors, twins Paul and Steve Dean, swallowed political doubts to cross the threshold. The saving grace was cheap Holsten Pils, I’m told. The struggle takes many forms.
Kevin Maguire is the associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror
[See also: Rachel Reeves escapes her own straitjacket]
This article appears in the 30 Oct 2024 issue of the New Statesman, American Horror Story