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Starmer wisely resists going to watch Arsenal vs Man City

Your weekly dose of gossip from around Westminster.

By Kevin Maguire

Battered by freebie rows, Keir Starmer wisely resisted the temptation while in Liverpool to see his beloved Arsenal play at Manchester City. “I don’t think that would have been wise,” the Prime Minister smiled when asked if he’d contemplated zipping along the M62. Starmer genuinely loves his sport. Labour’s leader looked as if he’d gone five rounds with Daniel Dubois on the conference’s opening morning after staying up late with his son to watch the boxer floor Anthony Joshua in the IBF World Heavyweight Championship at Wembley. The Arsenal fan may not have gone to the Etihad but shouting at the game on television made him late for a trade union rally. Enduring John Stones’s 98th-minute equaliser for City hurt more than any abusive front page.

The controversy over multi-millionaire dresser Waheed Alli buying clothes for the Prime Minister, his wife and several cabinet members is clearly rubbing off on others. The Culture Secretary, Lisa Nandy, and the Trades Union Congress general secretary, Paul Nowak, were told they could keep Everton jackets at the end of a tour of the football club’s new stadium that’s under construction on the north bank of the Mersey. “Thank you, but no thank you,” spluttered Nowak, who is an Everton supporter, as the pair politely returned the gear. Buying your own is the smart look these days.

Forever accused of adopting positions to deliberately distance himself from Starmer, Andy Burnham dressed the part. My snout growled that the usually dapper King of the North tipped up so scruffy he might as well have left an Oxfam price tag dangling from a crumpled jacket.

You’d have thought the Tories would be begging people to attend next week’s conference in Brum when so many of their own MPs, never mind lobbyists, are staying away. But no, the party instead is banning journalists it doesn’t like. Morning Star lobby hack Andrew Murray’s pass application was rejected without explanation. Even Margaret Thatcher let him in. The Conservatives claim to champion free speech and oppose cancel culture – unless they dislike what you write, obviously.

Two Labour MPs are rumoured to have been discovered having sex together in parliament. It’s a saucy whisper that’s been cropping up in conversations with Labour ministers, Conservative MPs and, unsurprisingly – given that they know everything that happens on the estate – doorkeepers.

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[See also: Starmer resurrects Social Security Minister]

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This article appears in the 25 Sep 2024 issue of the New Statesman, All-out war