What do you do?
Pull.
Where do you live?
At the North Pole.
Do you vote?
Do caribou crap in Canada?
How long have you been a subscriber?
Since before I had antlers.
What made you start?
I needed an alternative to the rampant consumerism peddled by most rags.
Is the NS bug in the family?
Dasher, no. Dancer, no. Prancer, yes. Vixen, no. Comet, yes. Cupid, no. Donder, no. Blitzen reads the Spectator.
What pages do you flick to first?
The poems.
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How do you read yours?
Cruising at about 30,000ft.
What would you like to see more of in the NS?
Noses.
Who are your favourite NS writers?
John Burnside on nature.
Who would you put on the cover of the NS?
The Yeti isn’t seen enough.
With which political figure would you least like to be stuck in a lift?
The Grinch.
All-time favourite NS article?
The New Statesman is…
A great stocking filler.
As told to George Leigh
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This article appears in the 08 Dec 2020 issue of the New Statesman, Christmas special