There is no easier way to make someone’s brain twist into a pretzel than by telling them to relax. Relaxing, once you’ve been told to do it, is not possible. You start to scrutinise every part of your body for signs of release. The instant your breathing slows, or your jaw unclenches ever so slightly, an inner sergeant major enters stage left. “Hey!” it hollers. “You’ve made a start! Now try harder!”
I discovered this when I began trying to conceive in 2015, and when I told people that nothing was happening, their reactions were eerily similar. I would explain my woes; they would heave a sigh and then, through puffed-out cheeks, tell me: “To be honest, I think you just need to relax.” It was as though a call-centre script had been distributed among my family and friends. There, at the top of the page titled “Responses for People who are Trying for a Baby”, was “just relax”.
Content from our partners
