There are two months in the year – March and October – during which women are officially allowed to eat. Slotted all around them are occasions for which we need to diet. At the start of the year we are fighting the “post-Christmas bulge”. A short break, and then it’s time to get our bodies “bikini ready”. At some point – July or August – the bikini diet merges into the post-holiday detox (regardless of whether or not we have been away). Then the nights start to draw in and before we know it it’s time to “get in shape for the Christmas party season”. A brief sugar spike at Christmas and then it’s back to fighting the January bulge once more.
Of course, we rarely do any of these diets. We just know that they’re there, part of a culture that prevents us from living in the present (since for that we are too big). A future in which our bodies cease to be what we are, but objects we select – bikini body, party body, detox body – is dangled before us as the ultimate prize. We don’t believe it exists (we are not stupid) but such knowledge fails to make our present condition any more acceptable. We are the wrong shape for these times. We do not fit. What is more, we know we never will.
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