Amanda Palmer, the former lead singer of the Dresden Dolls whose crowdfunded album made kickstarter history, performed this delightful little number at the Roundhouse in Camden last night. It’s called “Dear Daily Mail. Sincerely, Amanda Palmer”, and is, er, very not-safe-for-work. You have been warned.
If you have neither the permissive environment nor audio equipment to listen to the video, the lyrics are below. The point isn’t quite as forceful, but it still comes across clearly enough:
Dear Daily Mail,It has come to my recent attention,That my recent appearance at Glastonbury Festival’sKindly received a mention,I was doing a number of things on that stageUp to and including singing songs – like you do!But you chose to ignore that and instead you publishedA feature review of my boobDear Daily Mail,There’s a thing called a search engine – use itIf you Googled my tits in advance you’d have foundThat your photos are hardly exclusive,In addition you state that my breast had escapedFrom my bra like a thief on the run,How do you know that it wasn’t attemptingTo just take in the rare British sun?Dear Daily Mail,It’s so sad what you tabloids are doing,Your focus on debasing womens’ appearancesDevolves our species of humans,But a rag is a rag, and far be it from me,To go censoring anyone– oh no,It appears that my entire body is currentlyTrying to escape this kimono!Dear Daily Mail,You misogynist pile of twats,I’m tired of these baby bumps, vag flashes, muffintops,Where are the news-worthy cocks?When Iggy, or Jagger, or Bowie, go shirtlessThe news barely causes a ripple,Blah blah blah feminist, blah blah blah gender shit,Blah blah blah OH MY GOD NIPPLEDear Daily Mail,You will never write about this night,I know that because I’ve addressed you directlyI’ve made myself no fun to fight,But thanks to the internet people all over the worldCan enjoy this discourse,And commune with a roomful of people in LondonWho aren’t drinking Kool-Aid like yoursAnd though there be millions of people who acceptThe cultural bar where you have it at it,There are plenty of others who are perfectly willingTo see breasts in their natural habitatI keenly anticipate your highly literateCoverage of upcoming toursDear Daily Mail,Up Yours.