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Richard Herring

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St Paul's misogyny

  • Posted by Richard Herring
  • 22 April 2008

Holidaying in Sicily, Herring ponders St Paul's attitude to women and asks why, if love is doomed, we all keep chasing it ... a triumph of hope over experience?

I have just been on holiday to Sicily. It’s a beautiful place, lots of history, amazing scenery and driving there is a seat of the pants exhilarating dance with death. But it’s not a bad thing to be reminded of your mortality. I find it makes you live life harder.

I was based in Syracuse, which has some pretty incredible sights, least of which is the gigantic modern Cathedral, built around a statue of the Virgin Mary that apparently produced tears for a week back in the 1950s.

It is quite amazing to see grown-ups bowing in homage to a plaster representation of a fictional character, when surely common sense dictates that this was an accident or more likely some kind of confidence trick. But then maybe the Virgin Mary likes to use her magical powers to make inanimate objects weep for a short period of time.

Anyway, the Cathedral, designed, I believe to resemble a giant teardrop, is an edifice to ugliness as well as stupidity. Much more moving in a religious sense was the crypt beneath the city’s original Cathedral which had been one of the gathering places of the first European Christians and has a 1st century altar at which it is likely that St Paul preached.

Now if I was a Christian that would be the kind of thing that got my juices going, not a lachrymose statue. Indeed my historian and ex-Christian heart jumped a little in any case when I realised St Paul had probably been in the little grotto in which I was standing. He arguably has more influence on the spread and the philosophy of Christianity, even than Jesus himself.

He is certainly responsible for the misogyny of the religion and there shouldn't be a man alive who doesn't thank him for that! He kept bitches in their place, whereas Jesus, the sandal-wearing hippie, clearly thought they should have equality or something. Thank goodness that sense prevailed. All women are good for is crying and preferably in statue form. That's what St Paul and I think and so I was pleased to have been in the same room that he had breathed his hateful words.

Whilst sight-seeing is fun, human watching is the most fun thing for me on holiday. I especially love watching couples interact. One breakfast time I was sitting next to an Italian couple who were probably a little bit older than me and from their studied silence and frostiness towards one another had clearly been together for a while - familiarity breeds contempt, always remember this.

They barely spoke to each other and when they did it was little more than a grunt. The man popped outside for a smoke. There was a fire door right behind their table, which closed behind him. Five minutes later he had finished his cigarette and his face appeared hopefully at the window. It was time for his wife to let him in. But even though she was no more than two steps away and could almost have reached over from her seat, she shrugged and sighed and indicated that he should go round the building and come in another door. Not surprisingly he was somewhat aggrieved by this suggestion, but who knows what slight had occurred earlier for him to deserve this treatment and he vociferously gestured for her to stop being so stupid and to let him in. She was indeed being ludicrously petty and after a couple of minutes made a big show of getting out of her seat and pushing the door for him. He entered and by now was too cross to thank her for this gesture and they sat in fuming silence for the rest of the meal. They were being more childish than the adults who worship a piece of stone which once had some moisture on it.

This was funny for me as a casual observer, but when one considers that they have to spend all their time in this battle of wills, scoring points off one another, it is actually mildly tragic. You only seem to see two types of couple on holiday, either those who have just got together or just been married who are ridiculously happy and demonstrative about their affection, or those who have been together for too long, have nothing left to say and can only derive any pleasure from tormenting their companion who is both their gaoler and their prisoner.

The new couples never seem to look at the old and see a frightening vision of their inevitable future and the old couple never seen to look at the new and remember that they once felt this way about their partner, which might rekindle some lost emotion and warm their heart (or more likely break it). Ultimately love is doomed and yet we all carry on despite the mountains of historical evidence ahead of us. You have to admire this triumph of hope over experience.

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17 comments from readers

Jubliana
23 April 2008 at 10:51

I hope that this is a bad attempt at humour.

cat osb
23 April 2008 at 11:13

Oh dear me. I have read funnier and more perceptive prose on the side of a cereal packet. This is truly an immature, lumpen, graceless piece of work.

cat osb
23 April 2008 at 11:23

If this type of derivative and poorly written dross appeared in a lower fifth form mag at some ghastly minor public school it might just pass muster, but in the New Statesman?! Did you pay money for this?

Louise
23 April 2008 at 15:12

Who are you "Jubilana / Osborne" ...? Are you one and the same person or extremely close cousins? (Close as in similar to the banjo playing Lonnie in the film Deliverance).

Or are you the extremely *clever* person who calls themself "Anonymous" on Herring's Guestbook and constantly leaves insulting comments?

I thought that Herring's new blog would probably sit uncommented on for a while, being that it is a reworking of one of his Warming Up entries, therefore regular readers of his other blog would already have made any comments they had on his other website at that time.

I figured that it might take longer for the regular New Statesman readers (Robert Powell, Michael Lyncy, Joyfeed etc) to chance upon Herring's latest blog, but I hadn't considered that an inbred intellectual retard might find it first.

cat osb
23 April 2008 at 16:21

Hi Louise. Haven't a clue what you're on about, I'm afraid. Guess that's my underdeveloped intellect. I was merely expressing my opinion that this piece by Richard Herring is poorly written puerile drivel devoid of wit or insight which is not worthy of publication in the New Statesman. But no doubt his other work is much, much better. Especially if it's a warmed up reworking or whatever, as you suggest. But your objection also seems to be that I have made my comments on the wrong blog & that I have made them before others have had a chance to comment. Clearly an unforgiveable breach of protocol on my part.

Louise
23 April 2008 at 17:22

My objection was not that you had made your comments on the wrong blog -- my statement was merely that readers of Herring's other blog would have already read about his Sicilian holiday and the observation about the warring couple before and therefore *those* readers would have already made any comments they had to make on his own website.

"poorly written puerile drivel devoid of wit or insight"

As you say that is YOUR opinion but I think you must have a very unusual taste.

Whilst it may not be Herring's most uproariously hilarious blog entry, I think (personally) that it is insightful.

Louise
23 April 2008 at 17:41

Just to clarify -- my "objection" as you call it (which is not really an objection but just an observation) is that:

(1) readers of Herring's other blog (Warming Up) would have already read and commented about this particular item; and

(2) other regular NS readers would probably do so in time (like I mentioned Robert Powell, Michael Lyncy, Joyfeed, A Reasonable Man, etc) and your name is not one I recognise as being a regular commentator of Herring's NS blog.

However, perhaps you are a regular reader of other NS blogs / articles and just happened to stumble upon Herring's blog today ....?

I just thought it looked a little bit suspicious that TWO NEW names ("Jubliana" and "osborne") had both left very negative comments within minutes of each other, and NEITHER is a name that I recognise as a regular reader / commentator of this blog previously.

Spankabuttux
23 April 2008 at 17:52

Christians ahoy! C'mon, tell us the real reason you didn't like it...

cat osb
23 April 2008 at 18:12

Hi Louise. Thank you for your observations. There is obviously some considerable background here of which I am blissfully unaware. But I am not sure why two negative posts in quick succession from names you don't recognise should be 'suspicious'. Suspicious of what exactly? A conspiracy of humourless low IQ banjo players...... I must admit that until I read this piece I had not heard of Richard Herring, or read any of his other writings. No doubt had I seen this piece on his other blog, I would have commented accordingly.

Louise
23 April 2008 at 19:24

"Suspicious of what exactly?"

Suspicious of being the *anti* Herring non-fan who often posts very rude and insulting comments on his own website. (Thus I thought that person might have logged on here today and registered in two new names -- i.e. "Jubliana" and "osborne".) Obviously I was incorrect in this theory, but I thought it looked likely as .......

"There is obviously some considerable background here of which I am blissfully unaware" ....

The non-Herring fan was busy disrupting Herring's own website only a day or two ago with very inflammatory remarks.

"I must admit that until I read this piece I had not heard of Richard Herring, or read any of his other writings"

Oh I see .... well, who knows, you might actually get to like his writings if you sample some of the others at his own website: http://www.richardherring.com/warmingup

Rich -- I think you might have been better off submitting your Warming Up of 21 April as your latest NS blog (instead of repeating the Sicilian holiday thing) -- perhaps the chicken/bacon panini story would have amused all these humourless people much more?

http://www.richardherring.com/warmingup/warmingup.php?id=199...

Jubliana said: "I hope that this is a bad attempt at humour"

Why does everyone expect a comedian to be laugh a minute in everything they say or write? Are they not allowed to also be observational / whimsical / poignant ...?

Charlotte
24 April 2008 at 10:33

Osborne said: "If this type of derivative and poorly written dross appeared in a lower fifth form mag at some ghastly minor public school it might just pass muster..."

I don't know how you can say that because surely fifth and sixth form students (age 16, 17, 18) would not have enough relationship experience to have become so jaded about humanity. Richard Herring writes as a 40 yer old single man with a litany of failed relationships behind him.

Herring said: ""Ultimately love is doomed and yet we all carry on despite the mountains of historical evidence ahead of us"

I cannot see how a teenager could have come up with this kind of observation, as they would be likely to still view romance with rose tinted spectacles and the first flush of youth.

chocolate sandwich
24 April 2008 at 22:15

I enjoyed this blog entry as it covers familair territory with gentle humour - isn't that what blog entries are for? Even on The New Statesman.

Having said that Osborne cracked me up. Keep commenting whoever you are. You too, Louise/Richard.....

Chocolate Sandwich

http://chocolatesandwich.blogspot.com

Louise
25 April 2008 at 09:18

"Keep commenting whoever you are. You too, Louise/Richard....."

I am definitely NOT richard herring -- very funny idea, but I don't think Mr H might be so amused by that !

Am always hesitant if leaving comment number 13 -- I think it's unlucky -- therefore fingers and toes crossed that someone comments again after me!

evergrowingbrain
25 April 2008 at 10:59

I love reading the comments, and the blog. Keep it up all of you.

"good little girl"

joyfeed
25 April 2008 at 14:09

Yes, this article seems fine to me. Herring is not for everyone, but regular viewers would not be disappointed by this, I think.

Spankabuttux
26 April 2008 at 02:00

My dad is maths, my mum is english; I do think the religious are deluded, but think about this: we have (as individuals) occcupied this planet for mere decades and accepted billions of years of history as fact; anything could legitamitely be true. We could exist in a bubble of logic outside of which different rules apply. We cannot ever know if this is true until we die. This is why I am agnostic rather than atheist.

Spankabuttux
28 April 2008 at 01:37

That maths/english thing may be a bit oblique, it's due to being a bit drinked up at the time of posting.

Seems a bit sixth form actually, despite the fact I was never in the sixth form (I had the guts to go to college, you mummy's children!).

But to clarify my position: all religious people are being manipulated by long-dead people.

But in terms of existence, who knows?

And never start a sentence with "and" or "but".

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Richard Herring

Richard Herring began writing and performing comedy when he was 14. His career since Oxford has included a successful partnership with Stewart Lee and his hit one-man show Talking Cock

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